12/14_FXCM_Blowup trade -$1400

-had nice 2 weeks run but let one trade took away all of my last week's profit
-Problem #1: took a huge position and ended up holding 3100 shares with $8.09 avg.
-overstayed and wanted bigger crack but didn't get it. Was down $1k at the peak then up $1k at one point but didn't take it and being greedy and turned a winner into a loser.
-Same mistake as ITEK short. After it touched $7.60 I remember I told myself there is no reason to cover and at that point I did right thing not covering but the wrong thing I did was refusing to cover when it was holding above VWAP, consolidating with higher lows for more than an hour. The main CAUSE was I was impacted by P&L. I had $1k profit then an hour later it was breakeven and I was angry and wanted to turn it into green again so kept holding. The main problem was I didn't respect the chart was telling me and letting my emotion guided my action. Trading big is detrimental!!!!
-I was immersed into it, looking chart, lvl2, T&S and I didn't see much selling!! if no one wanted to sell, then why refused to cover??!! Had I traded small, I very likely would cover. Position Size's importance is overlooked by 90% of traders out there!! Please be aware of it!
-Also was very much influenced by MNGA and BPMX on Friday and thought it could crash. Always trade what you see, NOT what you think!!!!
-very frustrated, stressful, angry at myself...whenever I took huge loss I asked myself, "should I quit".
-My company will relocate in 2 weeks, I don't know what I will be doing then. I feel sorry to my mom and dad. There are so many times I've wanted to tell them how much I love them, how hard I worked and how sorry I am but didn't. I don't know if I should continue to do this. Maybe this is not right for me. I don't have the answer. But the ONLY thing I can do now is hanging there and keep trying.

Lesson/Takeaway:
1) it's okay to trade big but NEVER hold big position for too long, it influence your judgment and action, when it is consolidating with higher lows, ALWAYS take it OFF!!! why fighting??!!!
2) 2 aspects of Risk Management: 1)taking loss at risk level. 2) when the stock doesn't reach risk level yet, know when to take it of!! Live to fight another day! Either NAIL or BAIL! why flip the coin?
3)Strive to be a good trader. At the end of day always ask yourself are you a good trader today?? A good trader is not rated by P&L but how close he/she adheres to the rules and how disciplined he/she is!!!remember it's never about the money!!! it's about the RULES!!! trading is marathon, not sprint! At the end, trader who follows the rules survives.
4) If short, ALWAYS cover if consolidation with higher lows lasts more than 1-hr!